


Losing's Easy; Winning's Hard

by zanymalik



Category: American Idiot - Green Day/Armstrong
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-18
Updated: 2014-01-18
Packaged: 2018-01-09 03:47:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1141051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zanymalik/pseuds/zanymalik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-"We're Coming Home Again". Heather reflects on her relationships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Losing's Easy; Winning's Hard

Heather hasn’t cried like this in what feels like her entire lifetime. The tears pour down her cheeks, dripping off of her jaw, a flyaway strand of blonde hair caught in the wetness and stuck to her skin. An audible sound chokes her in the back of her throat after minutes and minutes of agonizingly silent sobs.

 _Shit_ , she curses to herself. He’ll have heard her by now, rushing in to be her knight in shining armor ( _again_ ) in no time. It pisses her off, makes her feel even stupider than she already does, how the idea of him doing just that causes dread to spread through her stomach.

She heard someone say something like, “losing’s easy; winning’s hard,” one time and sadly, it feels all too applicable now. Heather knows that she finally, _finally_ has everything she’s ever wanted now: a stable, loving boyfriend, a decently paying job, a house to call her own (even if she _is_ just renting it right now), and her son. Her beautiful son who she loves more than the air that she breathes. But it still feels like there’s a piece of her missing, and yeah, she knows exactly what – no, _who’s_ missing here.

That’s why she’s such a fucking mess right now. Not because he failed her ( _again_ ). No, Heather’s used to that by now. What she’s not used to is the way Will so carefully took her child – _their_ child – into his arms today, smiled down at him so outright lovingly it was as if it was his first time seeing him, and it was like a beacon of heavenly light shone out from him and onto that stupid, grinning face. She’s never seen him act like that towards their son, what with him usually preferring to chain smoke the day away and mope over dreams that passed him by.

 _God_ , she hates this. It’s like – in that brief moment in the stupid 7-Eleven parking lot, that gaping hole in her heart felt kind of okay. Patched, maybe. It scared the shit out of her and that’s the exact moment where she instantaneously lost her shit. She didn’t even cry this much the day that she mustered up the courage to tell him she was pregnant and became essentially the sole reason he couldn’t chase his city dreams with his two best friends. Not even the day Will had clung to her for dear life, buried his head in the fabric of her hoodie, begging and pleading for her to stay – how she just _couldn’t_ leave him, because everyone else already had.

He – not Will, but her actually too loving and too wonderful boyfriend – had assumed that she was upset because she was giving her child over to his father for the day for the very first time. Heather had initially been worried about that, yeah, but all fearful thoughts vanished the moment he took the baby into his arms. It was easier to collapse into the arms of her boyfriend, wrap her arms around him, allowing her tears to start falling down.

It’s never going to be okay between her and Will again. She knows that. It doesn’t mean that she can’t long for the days before this all happened, or for the days that they could’ve spent together that’ll never come now. With a deep breath, she wipes her cheeks with the back of her hand and prepares the best smile she can possibly muster for her wonderful, spectacular boyfriend, whose footsteps she can hear in the hall, just as she had predicted.


End file.
